Saturday, June 26, 2010

I grow more hopeless everyday. I sound so maudlin (if I even spelled it correctly). I am pathetic. A waste. And I wish there was a way out. Why doesn't God answer me? Perhaps He too has given up on me, but I don't think that's in His nature, unlike me. How did it get to this...I hate this, I hate me.

1 comment:

Courtney said...

Your depression sounds clinical. I hope you are using your resources to get yourself the help you need. You are wonderful, but in your current mind-state I know that hearing someone point out how great you are will not make a sliver of difference. You are not a waste. You are a perfect creation. Okay, so we are all total fuck-ups in one way or another... it's human nature. You wouldn't beat a dog for drooling anymore than you should beat yourself up for life's natural highs, lows, indescretions (sp?). But, I hate myself too, so maybe I shouldn't preach. Anyway, you are AMAZALING and deserving of so much more happiness than you allow yourself. Dont be your own bully. There are enough assholes in the world to put us down without it.