It's getting harder and harder to maintain daily functions. I find that I am not thinking as clearly, I am easily agitated, I am almost constantly overwhelmed...even by the simplest of tasks. I'm losing it, I'm afraid. I am so desperate for this all to end. But not by my own hand. I keep asking God to finish this once and for all; begging for that unbearable pressure in my chest, or that rending of my brain in a swift and deadly stroke. So far, He has rejected my pleas. How long, how long...