I just reread the whole mantra thing and thought, "what an ass." What a piece of self involved crap that was, don't you think? Well, this continues in that same vein...

I really need to stop looking for support from people. People don't care, and honestly, why should they? They have lives, every bit as filled with heartache and disappointments as i do, so why would I think that I deserve some special attention? I don't, plan and simple. As I devolved into a shell of my former self, as I become the zombie, I should not expect others to make that trip with me. In a not really clever way, this all becomes self fulfilling prophecy. Well, ok then, I am saying that you have an out...you don't have to waste your life worrying about me, I think its pretty clear that I am an increasingly hopeless case. Spend your energy on someone who deserves the attention. Me, I will just drag you down with me. Let me live and die the way I was meant to, alone. Trite, i know, but I mean it completely. I am not looking for compliments or trying to guilt you into anything, i am trying to let you know that's its ok to leave me be, it is, to borrow an over used phrase, my destiny.