I think that, a few well placed word to the contrary, I am a continual disappointment to God. I base this on my apparent lack of trust, in that I feel empty, hollow and alone. Despite what I believe to be true, I continue to fear and dread each day. Instead of being filled with joy and thanksgiving, I selfishly focus on my misery and heartache. I can't seem to move past that point, thus I am that most dispised of things, a zombie. Once full of life, now hating it. I wish God would end my existence. Sadly, I don't even know what to pray for, what I want or what to do anymore. I'm glad nobody reads this, because if they did, I wouldn't be able to live in the fantasy that maybe what I write isn't true. Skip it, I don't deserve to be happy or with someone and that's just the way it is for me.