I almost said Bipolar. And I would have been wrong. Yes, my moods do go back and forth, giving the impression of a swing. But it is not Bipolar. The constant struggle of the light and dark sides of myself to gain supremacy seems more apt. The yin and yang of it, I suppose. One day, dark side ascendant, I am all gloom and doom. I am a hopeless nobody consumed with my own self pity and regret for everything I have done. I profess a loss of faith and trust in myself, my God, and my world. Struggling back is the positive. That I am a decent human, flawed but not ruined. I have accomplishment, I have faith and hope is there at all times. Taken separately, they seem Bipolar. But the whole is more the truth - both sides juxtaposed upon my every moment, struggling to be heard.
Or... I spend way too much time navel gazing and should just get on with the business of living and not struggle with that which I cannot control. With each tragedy, I suppose, comes treasure. I just have a hard time realizing what the treasure is at any given moment. Perhaps if I would look up from my navel, I would see the treasures around me. In my kids, in my friends, in my God, and in my self.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment