Good-bye Shadow Cat

Tonight the weather mimics my mood. It is windy, raining, with a chance of tornado. I feel uneasy. Not about the weather, but about tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to, with much regret/sorrow/dread take my cat of 21 years to the vet to be put to sleep. She has stopped eating and does not seem to be able to hold anything down. She appears in pain when walking, and her behavior has changed. She loses us and seems lost. She has stopped using the litter box and this creates a number of problems. After long discussions, with and without the kids, we reached the decision that it would be best for her to be put to sleep. It was hard watching my youngest say good-bye tonight. He has known her his whole life. I do not look forward to the task and approach it with conflicted thought and emotion. I miss her already, but I don't like to see her suffer.

I don't care if I am anthropomorphizing, I love this cat. Save for my mom and sisters, I have know and maintained a relationship with this cat longer than with any other creature. She has provided comfort, has listened and has not criticized. She has shared her home with me and put up with the dogs in my life.

Funny, I didn't start out as a cat person. I called her cat-dog (long before the cartoon) and joked that I had raised her as a dog. She would "bark" out the window at birds. She was given to me after being found blind on the roadside - a newborn kitten. Her finder nurtured her until she was a few weeks old and asked if I would accept her. She has moved with me from Oklahoma to Minnesota and down to Georgia. She has "trained" at least 3 dogs and never took any grief from them. They knew she had pet seniority and seemed to understand the need to back off with just a glance from her. I believe we have given her a good home and a happy life and her presence here will be felt and missed.