The Eagle has Landed

My Mother-in-Law (MiL) has arrived and is fully ensconced in the home. While this may sound like bad news to some, I'm OK with the idea and the reality. I get along with the MiL fairly well; we share views, we like to discuss similar things, etc. Besides, she really does help around the house and with the kids. She has her own online life with a basket full of boy-toys she likes to chat with (some older, some younger than me). What I am worried about is the future.

I am wondering what strain this will put on a marriage some are suggesting should be euthanised. The Oldest Son has already placed quite a burden, but he is by degrees improving and maturing. Will the introduction of the MiL place a further burden on a system that is crumbling?

Like all excursions of worry into the uncharted future, this one will prove to be fruitless. It seems I spend a lot of time worrying about things - something I never thought I did, but am beginning to realize the truth. I have repeated ad nauseum to others that worry produces no results other than heartburn, etc. It seems wholly illogical to me to continue to worry knowing that it is a pointless exercise in wasting energy. And yet I do it over and over again AND about the SAME subjects over and over and over again. Why?

Trust.

I think I have lost trust in those close to me. I have lost some of the enforced innocence through which I viewed the world. Now I have lost trust in my wife, I don't really trust the MiL, and I think I have lost trust in God. What a sad and pathetic state of affairs I have created and/or allowed for myself. It seems to me, writing this over too much lunch that not trusting God is a symptom of a loss in faith, which I have certainly felt. If I cannot or do not trust God, then I have to worry about what will happen in my immediate and near future - including and especially those things over which I have little or no control. If I can simply start trusting in God, then He can do the worries and have the heartburn, etc. How can I Simply do this task when I have lost faith that God is even on my side?

God, of course doesn't take sides. He wants the best for all His kids, and that includes the wife that doesn't want me, the MiL, and everyone else calling Him Father. The sooner I get it through my head that God's plan for me is at times unknowable by me, and that He does have a plan for my marriage, the sooner I can start to trust again. Sounds simple (again) and I really am trying.

Believe it or not, this rambling mess helps me to see.