We talked, I wept

Just a short note to say we talked today and I am feeling morose. She believes it would be best if we "made it legal" and signed divorce papers. For may part, I made it clear that this is something I do not want. I told her I love her as much now as when we were married. I told her that despite what she thought, I too have done my best at loving her unconditionally. I have asked for nothing from her and expected the same. I asked that we go to counseling and make one last ditch effort. I told her I thought she was making a mistake for her, me and the kids. I love her - I do not want a divorce. We are often times forced to do and be what we do not want to do or be. I do not want to date or enter that world again, but it appears I will have no choice. I will survive, however hollow I will feel. Like the air sucked from my lungs by a sudden vacuum, I have felt panic and death and dread. I had gotten used to breathing the very thin air - how will I do without? However it happens, I will just have to...

Life sucks, I am lonely, I am scared and I am depressed.
I think whoever said that it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was full of shit...