I feel like it is all slipping away. I know, I know, it all slipped away years ago, but give me a break on that one. What I am talking about is the sense of family, even with my boys. I feel disconnected and unwanted by the youngest, though in my heart I know that's probably not true. The oldest continues to butt heads with his mother and I, and when he does, the things he says tear out a little bit more of my heart. The middle one, with whom I feel the closest (at this moment) is getting so very independent, independent beyond his years.

I know this is probably a phase, but I dont like feeling so...disconnected...from them.