I may be a little slow, but I was thinking today about why I feel so insecure about the kids. It seems that I start to worry and get upset if I think that I have made them unhappy. I don't like feeling that way, and frankly it felt a bit immature. Then I hit upon the idea that I am afraid that if I don't do just right, that they will stop loving me like their mom did. And that struck a chord....it felt right. So, now that I have made that realization, I guess I will have to learn to trust that their love is not as mercurial and will perhaps survive. Problem is, I still struggle with the why's of being loved, instead of just accepting that it is true. Head games I know. And man did I sure allow myself to become screwed up by this woman. I'm not blaming her, I actively participated.....live and grow I suppose.